The Empty Chair: Coping With Grief During the Holidays

The holidays are supposed to be a joyous time of year, but not for some. A psychologist and grief expert explains how to cope with loss during the holidays.

By Sara Novak
Dec 13, 2023 7:00 PM
teenager alone on couch by christmas tree solemn
(Credit: Olha Yefimova/Shutterstock)

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The holidays can be a heavy time of year. They can remind us of sadness when we’re grieving the loss of a loved one. They can remind us of what we don’t have if money is tight or we’ve lost a job. And for those who don’t have people to celebrate with, the holidays can highlight the loneliness we may already be feeling. 

Psychologist and grief expert Jill A. Harrington says that calling our emotions negative isn’t always accurate because our feelings can be a reaction to a difficult time. “These emotions are appropriate, and we may be perceiving them as negative because we’re told we’re supposed to feel a certain way during the holidays,” says Harrington.

Why Are the Holidays So Hard?

(Credit: Prostock-studio/Shutterstock)

We’re told over and over again that it’s the “happiest time of year,” which makes us feel even worse if we’re not feeling this way. Social programming is telling us that this is a time of joy and cheer when everything should be going our way, and oftentimes, this isn’t the case. “The holidays can put the loss that’s already in your life right in your face,” says Harrington. 

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